Celibacy: Day 13

Forgive me blog-readers for I have sinned. It has been 2 days since my last confession. I have had impure thoughts. Lots and lots of impure thoughts.

Celibacy has suddenly gotten really difficult (difficult, because h**d is on my list of banned words for the next 2 weeks). I have hit the celibacy wall and can only hope that my celibacy second wind is arriving (C**ing is also banned) soon.

Several friends have been trying to trip up my celibacy. Sending sneaky links to pornography, Rick Roll style, emailing me pictures of their lovely lady lumps, sending flirtatious or outright dirty messages and even going as far going full tonsil hockey on me in public places have all up until now been enjoyable and no threat. I was too strong for such temptations to phase me. But suddenly, last night, things got real.

I had three ladies trying to trip me up at once, one just for the sake of doing so and 2 who legitimately wanted some celibacy breaking action and somehow they struck the right chords and I felt tempted. I felt beyond tempted. Fucking A, I felt like Charlie Sheen in a room full of hookers wearing panties made out of cocaine. But I made it. I went all Jesus in the desert. I was like "Get thee behind me Satan!" except that is was more like "I will look at your tits but I am not going to touch myself, woman!" It's real difficult being me.