The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Everyone thinks they are the good guy. I have found this to be the underlying principal of what little I understand about relationships and even more so, break-ups. No one thinks of themselves as the supporting character or the villain in the story of their lives. No. Everyone thinks they are the good guy even when they know they have done bad things. This is the theory behind the "Good Guy Complex."

The idea of always being the good guy actually does a lot of good. For one, it's a self preservation tactic. If you thought you were the villain all the time, you would probably either feel really bad about yourself or be one really fucked up human being trying to turn Smurfs into gold or something. Think about it.

The "Good Guy Complex" can also keep people on the straight and narrow. Many good things have been done, not out of the goodness of the heart, but to maintain the good guy image. Think about how bad the political system would be if politicians had to rely on their morals to make good choices instead of their image to the voting public.

The "Good Guy Complex" reaches into all facets of life and relationships. As an example, I was recently involved in a break-up where I didn't feel that I had done anything to particularly harm this girl (Then again, maybe it's just the "Good Guy Complex" talking) but things weren't going swimmingly either and she was faced with a decision of whether to move cross country or not. She made the right choice in going but what should have been a relatively drama-free, amicable break up, turned into a shit show of shouting matches and name calling. It is my belief that in order to be the good guy, she had to create a bad guy. What would Superman do if there was no Lex Luthor, after all? If I wasn't with her, I was against her and since she was naturally the good guy in her version of the story, that made me the bad guy.

The "good guy complex" can make people do shitty things. Barry Bonds doesn't know that he is the bad guy. Richard Nixon famously told David Frost (and the world watching on television) during an interview "When the president does it, that means it's not illegal." What Nixon was saying is "I am the good guy." The "Good Guy Complex" is a vehicle for justification.

"Thou shalt not kill." is pretty much the most unarguable commandment regardless of religion but no one bats an eyes when James Bond kills. Do you know why? Because he is the good guy; he has a license for that shit.

Have you ever been in a relationship that has gone on much longer than it should have? It was probably because both of you were waiting for the other person to fuck up so you could get out with an unscathed good guy status. Even if it ended because you did something wrong, I'll bet you figured out how to be the good guy in your own mind. "I only cheated on her because she was constantly such a raging bitch/ never put out/ the marriage was loveless and I love the new girl."

The world is not black and white. Lines are blurred. Shit happens.